Tuesday, March 24, 2009

1 year later...

Matt, Samuel, and I brought Aaron home from the hospital one year ago today!! We had his bris and had a small celebration with family. I remember being so relieved and excited to have him home, but with such a sense of fear, a weight that seemed suffocating. What a difference a year makes. Now, although I still have my worries ( I didn't have a personality transplant!) I feel so much lighter and more optimistic.

On that note, Aaron was evaluated today by his Early On coordinator and did great, meeting all his milestones across all parameters and exceeding some! He signed "more" for the first time while she was playing bubbles with him. He is pointing at things he wants and saying "dat" which she thought was great. He also says Mama, Dada, and repeats Bruva for brother. He also says something that sounds like Dog and Ball. He shoots baskets, it is so cute! He loves speed, I was racing him down the driveway today in the wagon and he was laughing so hard.

Sam is writing so well, he wrote a story for Aaron the other day and is constantly asking, "Mom how do you spell...?" He is so sensitive, he is very concerned with prey and predators. He can't believe that his chicken nuggets are actually made out of chicken! I didn't go into too much detail because I can't handle nascent vegetarianism on top of our myriad of food allergies.

On that note, Aaron was sick on the day of his endoscopy, so we have delayed it. He is gaining weight, albeit at the 4th percentile, so we will see how he is doing after our upcoming vacation and then proceed. He loves soy ice cream, which I think may be helping with the weight gain.

Matt and I just got back from our first weekend away without the boys since Aaron was born. We had a great time and the boys had lots of fun with their grandparents.

Sunday, March 15, 2009


If you were a little boy...what would you want in an aunt?

She'd have to be lots of fun. Willing to play sports and games with you, act silly, cheer you on at sporting events. She'd be among your biggest fans and delight in you. You'd like her to live really close, but if not, you'd be happy to know she made it as often as she could for special occassions. You'd want her to be there when you were born, and weep with joy when she held you for the first tiime. You'd want her to be adventurous. You'd love her to always bring a little something when she came to visit. You'd like to hear how she rushed to be by your side when your family needed her most. And if she came with a nice, talented, football fan, video-game playing companion, well, all the better :)

My boys have that and more.

If you were a big sister, what would you want in a little sister?

She'd be your first playmate. If you were a little stodgy, she'd have to lighten you up. She'd be just competitive enough to always prod you to be your best. She'd always be in your corner. She would be the one you whispered to late at night, told all your earliest girly secrets too. Let's be honest, you'd want her to be the student to your teacher and let you choreograph the dance and swimming routines...but you'd be ok with switching roles sometimes. She'd have to be lots of fun and make you laugh until you cried. You'd want to protect her, always.

I had that and more.

If you were me, what would sisterhood mean to you?

It means having someone so different from you and so much the same. It means finishing each other's sentences and having some spooky connections. It means being so proud of my little sister- her spirit and smarts, her tolerance and tenacity. She makes me want to be better. Sometimes, it has meant fear...when her adventurous spirit collided with my worrywart ways! (Can I say transitional?) It means always having a sounding board and trusted advisor, a shoulder to cry on. It means unconditional love and support from someone who truly knows me, all my flaws, and loves me anyhow. It means fashion advice! It means everything to me and I can't imagine my life without my beloved sister---Sisters are forever! And yes, forever is way way past 30!

Happy Birthday Andie, we love you so much.

Friday, March 6, 2009


Two years ago, we began seriously thinking of having another child. Another baby to cuddle and nurse, rock and sing to, watch grow. A sibling for Sam, a best friend, sometimes a rival, a playmate, someone to mock us with in our old age! A child born of love and devotion, a fourth member of our family, an individual among a family of strong personalities.

Then, you were with us. Safe in your watery cocoon. We rejoiced. And already, you were different. I felt different. You kicked and squirmed and moved. We predicted that you would be our "wild one". We went for our ultrasound and giggled as you hammed it up for the sonographer, showing only your face. We heard Sam would have a brother and I dreamed up matching outfits, muddy boys, hearty appetites, big bear hugs. We debated names.

One year ago, you were cheated of a safe, smooth entry into this world. But you, my strong boy, fought your way back to us. Firm hands, guided by G-d, restarted your tiny heart and helped you to breathe. You endured more than any baby should have to. Wise doctors sent you into an icy dreamland. Hours old, they wheeled you by me on your way to another hospital. I squinted to see you, longed to touch you, wanted you back inside me where it had been safe. Your dad and I named you Aaron- "Strong mountain" and you were gone. Your daddy, grandparents, aunts, and uncle held vigil at your bedside, and brought me messages of your determination, your adorable head of hair, your beautiful face. They brought pictures, and through it all, I could see for myself. We were so scared, shocked, loved you so much, wanted so badly for you to be healthy.

One year and five days ago, we held you for the first time and I was yours. About two weeks later, you came home. Your family celebrated, your brother cuddled you and we were so grateful.

10 months ago, you smiled and sunshine peeked out through the clouds. Your smile could melt glaciers! 8 months ago, you laughed, and it was music. We stretched and sang, worried and wept. Let me tell you---you could cry with the best of them! You rolled toward your brother and he began to be your devoted coach. You scoffed at sleep and nourishment, what superbaby needs such things!?

6 months ago, you sat up. I exhaled. Soon after, you CRAWLED. Of course you did, and as predicted, you are our wild one. Wonderfully stubborn and strong-willed and sassy! Temper tantrums way before 2! But also, so sweet, my snuggle bug and your daddy's pride and joy. You and your brother motored around the house and I could hardly believe my eyes.

1 month ago, you walked. For me, it was like watching the moonwalk, no, better. I dream again, and I am sorry I ever underestimated you. I won't do it again, dear son.

Today, you called me mama. You played on the playground with your aunt and your brother. You ate and actually enjoyed your birthday dinner (chicken strips, fries, peas and egg-free, dairy-free chocolate cupcakes :)) You made a big mess. You tumbled head-first down your new slide, fearless. You "read" constantly and so intently.

Today, we celebrate your life. I cannot imagine life without you. You are so special, so unique, our little Cinderella man, your brother's cha-cha, your Bubbie's superstar, little Saba hair...so today, for our Aaron Jacob- with thanks to Sarah McLachlan- the song that always makes me think of you...my not so ordinary miracle

It’s not that unusual when everything is beautiful

It’s just another ordinary miracle today

The sky knows when its time to snow

You don’t need to teach a seed to grow

It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say

Wrapped up for you everyday

Open up and find a way

To give some of your own

Isn’t it remarkable? ....

Please don’t throw your dreams away

Hold them close to your heart

Cause we are all a part Of the ordinary miracle today

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


Well, Aaron's 1st year is fast coming to a close and it is time to change the title of this blog. A big thank you to my BFF Retrogirl for showing me how to change my focus, both in the blogosphere and in real life. I have struggled with the title (and the focus) a lot this year. This was certainly a year that was, in many ways, centered around Aaron---but there is definitely another center of attention in my life! Both in the blog and in real life, it has been a struggle to not lose sight of our big boy's needs in light of his brother's challenges this year. Also, as Aaron continues to grow and thrive, he is and will be so much more than his heart-wrenching entry into the world. My hope is that the difficulties of his early days will slowly fade with the glories of all his upcoming "firsts". Every inspirational story you read about kids overcoming challenges seems to bear a common theme: My parents treated me no differently. So, in that spirit, this blog is now officially about BOTH my busy, brilliant, bossy, beautiful boys.